two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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