what day is it and did you see me today?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
