everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
