My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
