whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
