Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
