Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will be naked everywhere
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
