i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
