Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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