she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
