mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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