Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
its liver damage thursday
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
