Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
