She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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