Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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