And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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