Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm too high and old for this...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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