I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
