THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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