Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
