That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
