Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
