That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
