I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
