Dual....:-)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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