omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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