i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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