Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
