My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
