Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
So. Much. Porn.
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