just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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