Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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