I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
