there's paper in my vomit.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
someone owes me an orgasm
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
