i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
