4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
