Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
