So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
