I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
His nipple licking is glorious
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