Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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