i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
