i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
