We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
