I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
