She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
