The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
