I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
