i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize