Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
