is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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